[Sat] 21 Jan 2017 (Worse than Bots)
Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 1:57 am
Missions
But did we have fun? Fuck yeah. Because nothing spells F-U-N like clutching an M16A1 and performing bounding over-watch, whilst someone plays the music from Delta Force or Airwolf over TeamSpeak. Even if it was the MIDI version of the Airwolf theme. Hey, I'm not judging.
We were: Bodge, Boberro, Bormanov, harakka, Kefirz, Washington and myself. It was awesome. We were awesome.
Except when we sucked. And boy, did we suck at times. I want to make some terrible reference about Tigershark and sucking, but instead I'm going to let you imagine that (no, really, don't think about it) and start by pointing out that we actually began the session with two victories.
In Zelenyy, we were introduced as members of 17 Рота, tasked with taking the unassuming radio tower at Green Hill (in Chernarus). Under the leadership of Kefirz, and with some serious rain falling on our heads, we trundled up the hill in or on a BMP-2 until we encountered some marines. Then we got to killing people. I hopped off the BMP-2 and moved up the left hand side of the road. One marine practically walked out of the trees and onto the end of my PKM, but the others were tougher to kill. Our vehicle killed their (static) vehicle and we seemed to be making good progress. Then someone shot me and I spent a while on the ground. I know Kefirz came to help me, but in the end it was Bodge (from the BMP-2 crew) that revived me. By that point most of our little band of brothers had died, but somehow we managed to mop up the remaining marines and secure the radio tower. Victory number one!
Next, in Zelenyy II (imaginative name), everyone came back to life and defended the radio tower at Green Hill against an American counter-attack. Still under the leadership of Kefirz, most of us started out near the bottom of the hill's north-west slope. Tucked into the treeline, we could see the marines advancing across open ground towards us. Naturally, we called in a mortar strike from our brave mortar team at the top of the hill ... and they told us they had two tubes and no tripod. So instead we got to shooting a lot. The enemy cooperated a little - with quite a few of them dying in the field beyond - but soon we were getting pushed back. Kefirz commanded a pretty masterful withdrawal back towards the compound, and the mortar team (which had signed up to Amazon Prime and bought a tripod) layed down a lot of smoke. Once at the compound, Boberro and I climbed the tower to an observation deck, from which we were able to shoot the last few enemies. And Boberro shot Kefirz. Yeah. Also, we learned it was a TV tower, not a radio tower. Victory number two!
And just as the rain was stopping, our luck ran out. In Zelenyy III we had to defend the TV tower against a possible night attack. On the one hand, our duty was shared with a squad of motor rifle troops from Obscuristan (played by the AI) - and these folks had set up a nice close perimeter of work-lights and sandbagged positions. On the other hand, the lack of NVGs, limited supply of flashlights and work-lights made for horror-movie visuals as the enemy ran in and out of the trees. Kefirz, still our leader, had opted to take us on a patrol of the perimeter, and we were to the north edge when the enemy contacted us. After a few terrifying minutes fighting off an attack from the north, we attempted to shift our focus to the north-west, where another attack seemed to be coming in. But we all died. And I had to point out that in mission testing, by myself, the friendly AI troops from Obscuristan managed to kill all the attackers by themselves. Which makes us worse than bots. Also, when Kefirz had the chance to save harakka and myself, he chose instead to abandon us to bleed out. Just putting that out there.
In a change of pace, Bodge led us on a run of Old Men which was a metric fuck-tonne more organised (and effective) than any previous one. Using colour teams, bounds and some vicious machine-gun action on the intersection guards, Bodge led us halfway up the 'northern' road until we reached the marketplace. We killed a lot of enemies, but when Bodge himself was killed our movement faltered. I found myself in command, but although I attempted to continue in the same vein, I was cruelly cut down. In fact, almost all of us were cut down in a very short space of time, as the AI had managed to infiltrate to our sides and rear. Only Kefirz survived a while longer, before he too was shot in the street. I want to say the Third International Fighting Brigade of Takistan in the name of Ronald Regan will escape from Zargabad soon. But it ain't looking that way at this precise moment.
Next, in Assault we were led by Washington, who split his forces up by colour teams and performed a perfect take-down of the first Kord bunker and roadside patrol. Unfortunately, we again managed to make it to the town in any significant numbers, and in the end only our brave but unfortunate leader was left to take refuge in a low-polygon building and take pot-shots at the Russians. Until one of them came into his building and executed him.
Finally, we played our first ever adversarial: Washington's remake of Dark Business. I was on the OPFOR side, and I just want to go on record as saying that no, we did not have a fucking clue where the downed pilot was, and yes, we did shoot into the inky black sky when we heard the sound of the rescue helicopter. But none of that shit matters, because during the operation we 'recovered' a lot of vehicles. Which we plan to sell. Fuck being in the army. We're going to be rich!
Anyway, I want to thank everyone who came along tonight. I also want to thank Boberro, who performed some heroic last minute editing of all the missions to ensure the crippling, server-crashing bug in v101.1.0 of our mission template didn't ruin the night.
Remember: Next weekend's session will be on SUNDAY (exact time to follow)
- Zelenyy
- Zelenyy II
- Zelenyy III
- Old Men
- Assault
- Dark Business
But did we have fun? Fuck yeah. Because nothing spells F-U-N like clutching an M16A1 and performing bounding over-watch, whilst someone plays the music from Delta Force or Airwolf over TeamSpeak. Even if it was the MIDI version of the Airwolf theme. Hey, I'm not judging.
We were: Bodge, Boberro, Bormanov, harakka, Kefirz, Washington and myself. It was awesome. We were awesome.
Except when we sucked. And boy, did we suck at times. I want to make some terrible reference about Tigershark and sucking, but instead I'm going to let you imagine that (no, really, don't think about it) and start by pointing out that we actually began the session with two victories.
In Zelenyy, we were introduced as members of 17 Рота, tasked with taking the unassuming radio tower at Green Hill (in Chernarus). Under the leadership of Kefirz, and with some serious rain falling on our heads, we trundled up the hill in or on a BMP-2 until we encountered some marines. Then we got to killing people. I hopped off the BMP-2 and moved up the left hand side of the road. One marine practically walked out of the trees and onto the end of my PKM, but the others were tougher to kill. Our vehicle killed their (static) vehicle and we seemed to be making good progress. Then someone shot me and I spent a while on the ground. I know Kefirz came to help me, but in the end it was Bodge (from the BMP-2 crew) that revived me. By that point most of our little band of brothers had died, but somehow we managed to mop up the remaining marines and secure the radio tower. Victory number one!
Next, in Zelenyy II (imaginative name), everyone came back to life and defended the radio tower at Green Hill against an American counter-attack. Still under the leadership of Kefirz, most of us started out near the bottom of the hill's north-west slope. Tucked into the treeline, we could see the marines advancing across open ground towards us. Naturally, we called in a mortar strike from our brave mortar team at the top of the hill ... and they told us they had two tubes and no tripod. So instead we got to shooting a lot. The enemy cooperated a little - with quite a few of them dying in the field beyond - but soon we were getting pushed back. Kefirz commanded a pretty masterful withdrawal back towards the compound, and the mortar team (which had signed up to Amazon Prime and bought a tripod) layed down a lot of smoke. Once at the compound, Boberro and I climbed the tower to an observation deck, from which we were able to shoot the last few enemies. And Boberro shot Kefirz. Yeah. Also, we learned it was a TV tower, not a radio tower. Victory number two!
And just as the rain was stopping, our luck ran out. In Zelenyy III we had to defend the TV tower against a possible night attack. On the one hand, our duty was shared with a squad of motor rifle troops from Obscuristan (played by the AI) - and these folks had set up a nice close perimeter of work-lights and sandbagged positions. On the other hand, the lack of NVGs, limited supply of flashlights and work-lights made for horror-movie visuals as the enemy ran in and out of the trees. Kefirz, still our leader, had opted to take us on a patrol of the perimeter, and we were to the north edge when the enemy contacted us. After a few terrifying minutes fighting off an attack from the north, we attempted to shift our focus to the north-west, where another attack seemed to be coming in. But we all died. And I had to point out that in mission testing, by myself, the friendly AI troops from Obscuristan managed to kill all the attackers by themselves. Which makes us worse than bots. Also, when Kefirz had the chance to save harakka and myself, he chose instead to abandon us to bleed out. Just putting that out there.
In a change of pace, Bodge led us on a run of Old Men which was a metric fuck-tonne more organised (and effective) than any previous one. Using colour teams, bounds and some vicious machine-gun action on the intersection guards, Bodge led us halfway up the 'northern' road until we reached the marketplace. We killed a lot of enemies, but when Bodge himself was killed our movement faltered. I found myself in command, but although I attempted to continue in the same vein, I was cruelly cut down. In fact, almost all of us were cut down in a very short space of time, as the AI had managed to infiltrate to our sides and rear. Only Kefirz survived a while longer, before he too was shot in the street. I want to say the Third International Fighting Brigade of Takistan in the name of Ronald Regan will escape from Zargabad soon. But it ain't looking that way at this precise moment.
Next, in Assault we were led by Washington, who split his forces up by colour teams and performed a perfect take-down of the first Kord bunker and roadside patrol. Unfortunately, we again managed to make it to the town in any significant numbers, and in the end only our brave but unfortunate leader was left to take refuge in a low-polygon building and take pot-shots at the Russians. Until one of them came into his building and executed him.
Finally, we played our first ever adversarial: Washington's remake of Dark Business. I was on the OPFOR side, and I just want to go on record as saying that no, we did not have a fucking clue where the downed pilot was, and yes, we did shoot into the inky black sky when we heard the sound of the rescue helicopter. But none of that shit matters, because during the operation we 'recovered' a lot of vehicles. Which we plan to sell. Fuck being in the army. We're going to be rich!
Anyway, I want to thank everyone who came along tonight. I also want to thank Boberro, who performed some heroic last minute editing of all the missions to ensure the crippling, server-crashing bug in v101.1.0 of our mission template didn't ruin the night.
Remember: Next weekend's session will be on SUNDAY (exact time to follow)
